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A Letter to my Father

I come from a blue collar background and my Father was a working man all of his life.

He certainly was one of the toughest men that I ever knew.

When my brother and I were infants he had a terrible accident in a manufacturing plant that crushed his foot badly and was rushed to the  hospital.

His foot was so bad that the doctors wanted to cut it off and he refused.

“How do you expect me to feed my babies with one foot?

The next day he went back to wrk and crawled to his car after working his shift, only to have his boss follow him out to the car and mock him as a cripple and fire him.

Later in life he met up with that man and lets just say it was not that mans favorite moment in life!

My Dad never lost his foot and went on to become a truck driver.

He was a truck driver in one of the toughest neighborhoods in Chicago and did not take crap from anyone and could very well back it up and did on several occasions.

When he passed away, I heard the countless stories from other drivers about how respected that my Dad was because he did not take crap from the Corporate bosses and especially how when another driver was hurt
and off of work, My Dad was the first one to reach into his pocket and was was always generous when with other drivers you often had to pull teeth to get them to help another driver out in a time of need.

He certainly was protective of his family.

I remember back in the early 70’s my older brother flipped a lady the bird on his bike and then the chain came off and she forced him to put his bike in her car and drove my brother home and told my Mother what had happened.

My Father was furious not at my brothers act of flipping the lady off  but that he got into a strangers car.

He sat both me and my brother done and we firmly told to NEVER get into any strangers car, no matter what!

Mind you this was back in the very early 70’s way before these child abductions were happening.

A lot of folks do not know this but I was born with a major speech defect, so much so that I could not speak until I was 5 years old.

Children can be cruel and I remember coming home crying on my very first day of school, because the kids made fun of me, and telling my father with tears streaming down my face that I was not going to back to school.

My father took me in the backyard and “motivated” and inspired me that I was going to go back to school.

The first 5 years of my life were spent going from doctor to doctor, from specialist to specialist.

Some told my father I was deaf, another told him I was mentally retarded.

Even though my father was not high school educated and was a working man,my father never accepted those opinions until he found a doctor who told him, “I know what the problem is and I can fix it, Mr. Bradley.”

Fast forward to my last day of high school when I was chosen to give the graduation speech at our graduation and received a standing ovation.

On my first day of school I was made fun of and the last day of school (yes, I am only high school educated)

I received a standing ovation.

It was not until later in my life that I really came to appreciate the lessons my speech defect taught me and my Fathers refusal to accept what Medical Experts were telling him.

This impacted my life in a HUGE way.

Because of my speech defect and the fact that I was made fun on a almost daily basis, I become tough and fought constantly.

This has served me in my later years when I have had to fight for my dreams and goals.

The other thing that happened as a result of my speech defect was that I simply refused to let opinions of other people sway me in my decision-making process.

Twas one of the major reasons that I never smoked.

Everyone else was doing it to be cool.

And because everyone else was doing it that was the MAIN reason that  I did not want to do it and I did not mind telling you that.

I would never be swayed by popular opinion and would always do what  I thought was best for me and my family.

So many people will be denied their dreams, not because of talent or their ability, but because someone close to them or someone whose opinion they respected stole their dream.

We are surrounded by “dream stealers”.

So many folks are anxious to steal your dream or give you “advice” that in reality is not meant to empower you but keep you right where you are now at.

To this day my life was radically changed by 3 decisions that my Father made.

One was the decision by my father to not accept what the medical experts were telling him about me.

The other lesson was in how he Loved my Mother.

They were married for 28 years before my Mom passed away of cancer.

I remember asking my Dad one time, “Dad if me and my brother and You and Mom were in an ocean drowning and you could only save one person, who would it be?

My father did not hesitate and I certainly was not prepared for his answer as I expected him to say that he would save all of us.

“Son, if that ever happened I would tell you and your brother and sister that I sure hope you have enjoyed your life because it’s over now…

Son, there would be no question that I would save your Mother…my life starts and ends with her and it best that you understand that”

I still laugh at that story and fondly rememeber it even today but my Dad was not joking.

What a authentic and real lesson in Love he taught me that day.

The other lesson my Father taught me was about honor and what it truly meant.

My Dad constantly stressed to me how important a good name was to a man.

He used tell me how “his Daddy gave him the Bradley name without spot and blemish and it was his utmost desire to hand it back that name to  his Daddy in the same condition as the name was given to him”

Well, my Dad achieved that worthwhile goal and now that burden has fallen upon me.

I have learned that a good name is not important to a man but that it is EVERYTHING to a man.

Without a good name you have nothing and I do mean nothing.

To my deceased father I say, “Thank You Dad, you instilled in me a gift more precious than silver and gold,

All that I am as a man and will ever be as a man, I owe to you.

God I miss you.

Love your Baby Boy,

Happy Fathers Day to all of our Dads out there.

Never underestimate the impact that you lessons have on your children.

TC Bradley